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Of Grief and Loss- A Reflection

A friend of Transforming Notts Together has written this reflection on grief and loss, and we are honoured to share it here...

I know the thoughts of venturing into such emotional subjects such as loss and grief must be very daunting. I think maybe the ‘and’ in between to the words need not be there. Grief/loss are so joined together that one without the other makes little sense. At some time in our lives these feelings will hit us and we are so unprepared and unaware of the cost to our mental wellbeing is enormous. All through our lives, death walks hand in hand with life, and we naturally take it for granted. After all it’s a part of living, the loss of a parent probably the first encounter with grief/loss; in my case whilst there were adults in my younger life who did little to warrant any great sadness. I have been shaken and grief affected particularly when hearing and seeing the heartbroken times of people who have lost young brothers and sisters and the most dreadful pain at the death of a child. That is an unbearable thought; how can we compare to those who experience such shattering blows of pain?

I guess with me, who has just lost my companion, friend, lover, husband of nearly 58 years I am just amazed how ‘destroyed’ I feel, just to think of him as I am doing now pulls down the tears and my body begins to ache. Everything in the house reminds me of him, all the little jobs and big ones that emerge though out the weeks; remind me of him. Silly but even passing his favourite pub hurts. Lock down would have been, I am sure much easier with Tony around, except that he would probably have ignored some of the advice! Grief/loss what can I learn from my feelings; that instead of kind hearted platitudes to friends in similar circumstances I will really know what their hurt is and hopefully be able to use this and wrap those affected with love and prayer.

Barbara Daykin MBE

Grief and Loss Workshop

To book onto TNT's free Grief and Loss Workshop, to help others share and process bereavement, please click here

Resources for Those Experiencing Grief/ Loss

If you are experiencing your own loss, and would like to access support, here are a selection of useful resources:

At a Loss https://www.ataloss.org/ Excellent general resource pulling together lots of info from different charities, with option to search by postcode

Grief Chat enables you to speak online with a trained grief counsellor. https://www.griefchat.co.uk/

Cruse Bereavement Care offer a range of resources including a helpline. 0800 808 1677 www.cruse.org.uk/

The Good Grief Trust https://www.thegoodgrieftrust

Care for the Family https://www.careforthefamily.o...